Last week, Jenny heard me and Lee talking about potentially getting rid of the monthly service for his cell phone and just getting him a prepaid phone instead. He honestly never uses the phone and would only use it if his car broke down or he was in a wreck. And he only drives once a week at the most. So it’s pointless to pay for it, right? That all makes sense, so that’s what we’re going to do. It’s always good to save money, right? But Jenny had other plans. She brought us this note:
I know you can’t read it, so I’ll type it out for you:
Dear Mom and Dad,
I am responsible enough for a phone, and you can trust me with a phone. Please. We are already paying for it for daddy to use it. I will use it responsibly and not call too late at night.
Please.
P.S. I am talking about daddy’s old phone.
She followed it up with further pitches about how much she needs wants a phone. All of her other friends have one. I asked her to name friends who have one since I can’t think of one of her friends’ parents who’s mentioned giving them a phone at the age of 10 in 5th grade. She named several random acquaintances who aren’t even really her friends. We also asked her what exactly she wants to do with a cell phone that she can’t do with her iPod Touch or our regular phone. The answer was mostly that she could text. She stomped off, angry with us for not giving into her.
She came back with this:
She’s really pulled out all the stops now. What kind of mean parent would still say no? Answer: Me. We decided years ago that there’s no reason for her to have a phone before the age of 11 and middle school at the earliest. She just doesn’t need a phone at this point in life. And I’m stubborn enough to not go back on that decision now. And really there’s no reason to.
I did make the kind offer of allowing her to put a texting app on her iPod Touch, which would basically give her the ability to text, for free, with all of her friends, when she’s on a wireless network. She generally doesn’t take her iPod Touch out of the house anyway, and certainly can’t have it at school. Of course, to her, this sounded like the stupidest offer ever. She knew it wouldn’t work and claimed she’d tried it before. But I went through with it anyway. (And if your child has an iPod Touch and you weren’t aware of the Text Plus app that allows them to text for free, it is very cool.) And I have to say, she may not be as happy as she drew herself in this picture, but she’s very excited that she can now text.
When do you plan to let your kids have cell phones? Or have you already?
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Both of my older boys (16 &13) have cells. They’re using mine and my wife’s old LG crap jobs. They have them for emergencies only – but the older one uses his often for texting (we have unlimited) and the 13 year old just dropped his in has backpack and hasn’t touched it in months. I don’t think it’s even charged.
Our youngest is 7 and he won’t be getting a phone until about 8th grade just like the other two kids.
I’m with you on this – what do they REALLY need them for anyway?
Conversely, if I ever lose my Droid, I. Will. Die.
Well, of course, we do NEED our cell phones and all the cool stuff we can do on them
I don’t think my younger girl (age 8) really cares, but my oldest is just wanting to move full steam ahead to cell phone use. And to her teenage years really.
Ooh, this is a tough one. My oldest is just 8, so he’s not that interested yet…but I’m sure it’s coming.
Hope the war isn’t too tough for you
I hope not. That girl will argue with me about anything and everything, so part of it is both of us being stubborn. But she’s satisfied for now at least! My 8 year old doesn’t really care either, but she’s not nearly as social as my older girl.
I agree with you. I am not certain when it was that cell phones became something that people consider a necessity because really they aren’t. I know it is coming, I know it is something we will have to deal with earlier than I anticipate but I hope that I stick to my decisions like you did.
I know! My daughter tries to explain to me how much more convenient it would be for me if she had a phone, but really? No. I know where she is.
Don’t get me started on my own stupidity for giving in to 10-year-olds’ requests for cell phones. I gave in both times to two different kids and one was a disaster, the other less than a disaster. Don’t do it. She has no idea how happy she should be that she has an iPod touch. Wait, you’re getting me started. Haha.
I definitely think she should be happy with the iPod Touch – and the fact that I’m allowing her to text on it!
I love that you stuck by your guns on this one! My daughter is only 8, and already several of her friends have cell phones. I just don’t get it. I KNOW where she is at all times, she has no need for a cell. We haven’t said an age yet, I was thinking 12 when she goes to junior high. But that also depends on if she starts doing her chores too
Yeah, really – do some chores and see where that gets you. And I agree – I know where she is. I don’t need her to have a phone to tell me. And she’s always somewhere where there’s a real phone and she can call me!
Right now – we have no plans of getting our boys a cell phone. Ever. My husband and I rarely use the ones we have – and they are the old ‘dumb phones’, we do not have smart phones. I figure, if the boys go out – have a game – or whatever, they can take our phone with them.
My older siblings and friends tell me I am crazy. We’ll see. As I said ‘right now’ we have no plans to get our boys cell phones. (They are 6 and 7, so we still have time.)
I wish my oldest didn’t want one so much – it would make it easier to say no!
We got our son one at 10 but only because there were 8 little boys on our street and they all stayed GONE forever and ever and ever and we were sick of driving around the neighborhood trying to find him. But we always had (and still have) many limits. Plus it’s a fun consequence. You did WHAT? Hand over the phone.
That’s true! We’ve let her use my husband’s phone a couple times when we thought she should have one with her for similar reasons to what you mentioned.
First of all, I’m glad you stuck to your decision. It’s so important for kids to know that you mean what you say. This whole cell phone thing stresses me out too! But I have to say, your daughter might have a future career in sales!
Seriously – she’s pretty convincing. But I’m pretty stubborn
Good for you! No cell phones here for a good while…I’m thinking high school (my oldest is in 7th grade).
I don’t know that we’ll definitely do one at the start of middle school – I’ve only said we definitely wouldn’t before then.
KUddos to you for sticking to your guns! I agree 11 is too early! My oldest is 5 so I’m pretending we won’t have that discussion for a long long time!
It’s crazy that they know how to use AND want cell phones so early now!
I didn’t get a phone until I was 23, so I think that’s a good age for the Little Dude, too.
I wish.
I think you came up with a brilliant compromise! 11 seems young to me, but I think it also depends on situation & circumstance. From what you disclosed, you chose right!
11′s the earliest age I would consider it, depending on what type of after school activities she’s involved with during middle school and whether or not it’s necessary. But I wouldn’t say she’ll definitely get one then
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